i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
