Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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