Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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