In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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