In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
