in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
