If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize