I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
there is puke in my bra ... again
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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