Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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