youre lurking in front of me
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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