if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
