A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think I died a long time ago.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
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