Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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