im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just want to make out with him forever
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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