My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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