4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
