Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
