This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
