And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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