Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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