Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
