just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
