One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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