U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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