i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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