Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
