I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
