Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
