He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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