remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
