I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
