i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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