I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize