party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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