We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I am available for nakedness
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
