I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize