I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
