How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
