I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
