I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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