I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
