Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
