Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
