shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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