I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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