dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
