So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
