Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude i'm inner monologue high
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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