Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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