How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
