belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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