I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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