I like my sex mixed with concussions.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize