He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
