Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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