my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
