Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
and you fell through a lawn chair
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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