Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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