we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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