If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
