I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
