It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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